Polygamy, polygamy. How you are misunderstood. You are like
a beautiful woman a man has longingly watched from afar and finally gets to know
personally and discovers a rotten core.
Polygamy laws are passed by a small group of misguided men sitting
around a high table that hadn’t quite thought things through. And what is more
fascinating, is the millions of men beneath this high table cheering them on,
oblivious to the damage being done to them from the halls of power. By passing
polygamy as law you hand over a hammer to an oppressor to bludgeon you daily to
sleep.
So you think having many wives is fun? Taking on more wives
is simply adding to your responsibilities. Men are failing to satisfy one wife
and now you want two, three, four? All the best to you, brother. As one Kenyan
joked recently “What’s all this polygamy talk? Isn’t one wife punishment
enough?” A man the stature of Abraham
Lincoln, able to negotiate the souls of an entire race regarding slavery failed
to negotiate happiness in his personal household. Is this surprising?When King
Solomon, a man with 700 wives and 300 concubines said himself “A continual
dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike” Yes, King Solomon,
said to be the wisest man on Earth was quarreling with some of his wives. Who then,
do you think you are? Polygamy is not some pornographic movie you watched where
multiple women are obeying your every whim and gasping at your “prowess”. Men
are able to take on more wives based on their social standing. And a man’s
social standing hinge principally on two things: Association (inheritance,
connections etc) and personal charisma/conspicuous talent. Do you have any of
these? Is your father or family rich? Do you even know what you are good at? It’s
not like women are just lining up to be married to you at will in a polygamous
society. Who are you and what do you have? Appraise yourself sir.
The singular question here is not who does polygamy benefit
but who does polygamy benefit the most
and who does it benefit the least? And
here is where things become a little comical considering these polygamy bills
are written and passed primarily by eager men dreaming of their own harem
wherein their fantasies can be fulfilled. Polygamy benefits most rich and powerful men and also the general mass of women but benefits
least the general mass of men (note I am not saying polygamy benefits the
general mass of women. I am saying if it
exists it would benefit most the general mass of women and benefit least the
general mass of men. There is a huge difference in these two statements) Here’s
how.
Polygamy serves rich and powerful men because given the
freedom and right circumstance, a man would hoard every woman in the world for
himself. But this cannot be achieved. Society would explode. So what happens in
unbridled polygamy is that the most powerful men hoard as many women as they
can up to the most ridiculous and allowable point depending on the society and
the age the people are in. One of the Chinese emperors of history had 30,000
concubines. I suffered a mild migraine thinking about the excessiveness of
this. I suppose there is no current modern equivalent. But the truth still
holds. Women concentrate around the most distinguished and wealthy. But wait a
minute, if this emperor had 30,000 women to himself, what were the other men
doing with themselves? Wow. So now you have a situation where average Tinashe
Nkokane (random name) not only has no woman but also no prospect of ever having
one. What is he to do? All the captains of industry have taken the women
because you are now a polygamous society. As a consequence of this newly
embraced polygamy and this scarcity of women, do you create homosexuals which
you so loathe and hate? Do you cause situations where gang rape is an endemic
problem? We are only speculating possible effects now. Watch yourselves
gentlemen when passing these bills.
Polygamy also benefits
most the general mass of women in the sense that every woman could have a
man for her. Some man. Maybe not exclusively, but some man. It also does
another thing. It makes the most decorated men available to more women in a
more transparent manner. This is a hard thing for men to accept. But one reason
(only one reason for these things are complex and mustn’t be overly simplified)
women have affairs with married or committed men, is they were irresistibly drawn
to charisma, power or wealth. At the time they hadn’t the strength nor even the
desire to resist. This is the pull and force of power. If in a bizarre and
overnight shift in culture, it was declared on television that the House of
Windsor was now polygamous and Prince William was taking on 1,000 new wives the
number of applications from women married and unmarried would be startling. Some
women would happily leave their marriages and be wife no. 50 for Prince William.
Better that with its offerings of comfort and luxury than a stale and
uneventful life with an average man. This is why there are women everywhere who
never married simply because they could never accept a union with a man who was
not rich, famous or charismatic. Such a thing was too horrible to consider. King
Mswati of Swaziland chooses a new bride every year from consenting families.
This is the underbelly of polygamy. Can you compete with Prince William or King
Mswati? Men of the world you shoot yourselves in the foot. Viva Monogamy!
Monogamy, monogamy. After we had left home thinking we were
going to a better place, we stood once again upon our first soil and realized it
is you we desired all along, but hadn’t known. Our eyes had been blinded by a
false light and we had taken you for granted.
Once again we ask a similar question. Not who does Monogamy
benefit, but rather who does it benefit
most and who does it benefit least.
Monogamy, even after it has been bashed by some as a myth, branded a social
farce actually benefits most the very
people, in this case men, that occasionally attack it. Monogamy benefits most
the average Joes. Men without distinction, “good birth” or inheritance. Men
with little talent. Everyone stands some sort of chance. And as things turn
out, because you have this one woman to consider all your choices with rather
than three or four competing wives and a little yard of children secretly
hating you and each other, she might actually help you become someone. Assist
you to do something. You might surprise yourself and realize you had wings all
along. Folded wings. Wings which you now stretch and soar on. You might even do
something remarkable because you weren’t distracted. And to the most beautiful
and desirable women, Monogamy too benefits
you most. The clearest hierarchy in the world is beauty. It is self
evident, natural and palpable. No one needs to teach it to you. It is something
known and felt. And this is the reason women have and will always obsess over
it. A president can be commanded by a minister looking to him for advice and
direction, a CEO can ask his deputy for strategy. But a beautiful woman can
never walk in a room of less beautiful women and feel intimidated. Beauty
transcends class. This is why Cinderella’s step sisters hated her. Beauty was
her inalienable advantage. Alexander the Great after marching undefeated into
Persian lands married a princess called Roxana meaning ‘Luminous Beauty’ as she
was considered the most beautiful woman in the known world. She was the only
woman Alexander the Great ever married. And this being a man who could have
married any woman he wished. Yes, monogamy benefits most these most desirable
of women. The kind of women men just automatically fall in love with. The Roxanne’s
of the world. This is because they have exclusive rights on this one great man who
could otherwise have married multiple women if that were allowed. Someone may
object here and point out that powerful men can just have affairs. Yes they
can. And they occasionally do. But legally and culturally speaking there is a
divide between a wife and a mistress. Mistresses live on that hidden and
unofficial side of the world. Wives are in full daylight. When a man is
nominated for the Nobel Prize it is his wife who accompanies him to the
ceremony. Monogamy gives you the opportunity you most desirable of women to
have more for yourself.(whatever that “more” is)
So there we have it. Monogamy best in general for men
compared to polygamy.
So gentlemen. Go home to your wives and be thankful. These are the mothers of your children. Respect them. And let’s
not bring this polygamy thing up ever again.
